There aren't too many events in life that are more life-changing than becoming a new mum.
Yes, it’s beautiful in so many ways, but there’s also the new sleep schedules (if you can call it that), the changes to your work life, the relentless mess (and nappies, oh the nappies!), organising childcare, meal prep, laundry, money...YIKES! It's a lot.
New mums juggle so much that it can often feel like you’re dropping balls — I know it did for me, every time.
But eventually, through trial and error and with the help of my community, I learned a few strategies to help manage the mental load of motherhood.
In the spirit of sharing and hoping that even one new mum might get just one helpful tip, here’s my thoughts on what helps.
1. Get it out of your brain
Lists, lists, lists, lists, lists.
I know it sounds dull, but seriously: make a list for everything.
If you try to rely on your head to remember every appointment, bill, social event, anniversary, grocery item, meal plan, and to-do, your brain is going to break.
Plenty of mum friends I know use a big monthly or weekly planner that they hang on the fridge or in the house and have clearly visible at all times.
Then, when they think of something that needs doing, they’ll jot it down.
Making things visible and getting stuff out of your head, actually frees up space in your brain.
Personally — and yes, this is tooting my own horn a bit — I use the lists in the Eggy app.
It does all the same things, just on my phone.
My husband and I mostly use the shared grocery list so we can both add things, check them off and access the list when we’re on the go.
You do NOT want to run out of nappies. So start a list and get 'em on it!
2. Kick the day off with a win
I’m not gonna lie.
Most days when you wake up with a newborn in the house, it feels like you want to pour strong coffee straight into your eyeballs to help you perk up.
And don’t get me wrong, caring for baby is your number one priority and that in itself is a mammoth achievement.
The emails and washing can absolutely wait.
But if you can start the day with some sort of a routine, it at least gives you a little satisfaction that you’re having a win.
It might be one small thing like having a shower. Or making a cup of tea. Or making your bed.
You gotta take the little wins wherever you can.
Maybe that’ll work for you, maybe something else will.
Maybe you’re just happy to have survived another night in the trenches!
Do what works for you.
And don’t forget to give yourself the biggest pat on the back every day. Regardless.
3. Don’t go it alone
I’m the Co-CEO of our tech company, but I also think of myself as the Co-CEO at home.
And I’m super grateful every day to have incredible support around me.
But as a fiercely independent person, I struggled to ask for help.
As I’ve had more kids and things have gotten busier with the business, I’ve had to let go and bring in the troops.
Looking back now, I wish I’d asked for help earlier.
Wherever you can - your partner, your family, your friends, your neighbours — lean on anyone who can contribute to calming the chaos.
Even asking for outside help like getting your groceries delivered, or your house cleaned if you can afford it.
Sharing that load will make you feel a little lighter and not so stuck in the mud.
It’s better for you and better for your baby.
And if all else fails, as as my sister (a weapon of a woman who pretty much single-handedly raised four kids) always says, "Just keep swimming".